Teenage thoughts
by RottingRoots
Summary: What goes through a teenager's mind when there's drama at home and he is in love with his best friend? - I suck at summaries so please read!
1. Chapter 1

You know what is the funniest thing about being a teenager? It is that you constantly are saying "Fuck!". You look in the mirror and you're scared of yourself, because there is a big zit on your forehead. And when you finally manage to hide it somehow and go eat your breakfast, your mother starts talking about sex. As if you don't know enough about it! So you decide to skip "The most important meal of the day!" and go to school and your day now officially sucks. You see the people you hate and wish them to burn in hell, but, oh no, you won't get away so easily because there they are laughing about your stupid hair and you have to pass them to go to class. So fucking fantastic! "It's all over!" you think when you enter the classroom but you have to see your crush exchanging spit with some blond - mini skirt - bitch and by now you're cursing your parents because they decided to have another child! And when you finally make it home, barely survived from school, you find your father waiting for you because you had an F on your English test. Half an hour later you toss yourself on your bed and get the much wanted sleep you needed. And your conclusion of the day is "Fuck!"

Right now I'm sitting in class drooling over my crush and imagining his lips over mine.

"Mister Harts, what is your opinion?" My opinion? My opinion is that I don't give a damn about Hamlet!

"Why does Hamlet wants to kill himself?" The teacher repeated the question.

"Because he couldn't shag his mistress!" The whole class burst out laughing. Well my opinion got me another F. I don't know why! Wasn't I supposed to tell the teacher what I thought?

The bell rung. Ah, the sweet sound of freedom! I heard my best friend yelling at me to wait for him but as I turn around I got to see that bitch tossing herself on MY best friend's neck. Huh, so now I am alone with my Mp3 player.

If you haven't figured it out I will clarify it for you, my dear people! I have a crush on my best friend! I know nothing was going to happen between us and I was a loser for believing that something will. I mean he wasn't gay to start with and who would have a crush on me? Me, Sora, the kid with the zit on his face, the loser that always does something embarrassing, the one that always get's F's and my gravity defying hair and stupid clothing style! Fuck! I am gong to go home and wank. That's the only thing I do as it should be, I think!

His fingers were sliding across my ribs, slipping in my pants finally touching my throbbing sex. A deep moan left my lips, my back arching as the feeling send sparks through my veins. I reached forward and wrapped my hands around his neck, lacing my fingers into his silver hair. He seems to like it and lets loose a moan of his own. His voice making me shiver and I moan again. He chooses this moment to squeeze me hard and my hips arch forward, leaving me breathless. I bring him down into a kiss, his tongue entering my mouth. And I can feel it. The pressure in my belly wanting to burst. We separate from the kiss and he leans down to whisper something in my ear.

"Sora, you should always use a condom when making sex!" Huh?

"Don't worry if you ejaculate first." Wait, that wasn't Riku's voice. It was … my mother's. Oh, God! I can't believe it! Just when I was about to cum I had to remember about my mother's speech about sex! I went out of the shower, pissed that I couldn't finish. And why were we teenagers mad all the time? We can't pleasure ourselves without remembering something our mothers said. We are suppose to release the steam somehow and they've ruined masturbation too. Great! Just great!

The ringing of my phone snapped me back to reality. It was non other than Riku.

"Hey, Riku! What's up?" I've tried to put a happy voice and thought of happy thoughts so I can fly like Peter Pan but it wasn't working. I feel like a gay now, but Peter Pan is hot.

"Wanna get together and study?" His voice once again made me shiver. Stupid mother. But I wasn't sure, if I could face him in this condition.

"Please! I have something important I want to tell you." I sigh and give up. Looks like I'm going.

It turned out he broke up with his girlfriend. The Gods have finally heard my prayers! And he said he will give up girls for good! I was so fucking happy until the next day at school! Now there was another girl sticking her tongue down his throat. A blond one again! Maybe I should dye my hair blond or I should listen to that little voice inside my head that is telling me to just get over Riku.

He opened his eyes, his beautiful aquamarine eyes and looked at me. There was some strange glint in his eyes. And then he closed his eyes again and turned back to kissing his girlfriend.

"You know loser it's not polite to stare." Some of my classmates, which should burn in hell, came up to me.

"Just fuck him already geek!" Axel, one of my classmates whispered in my ear. "Or are you too scared?" That's it! I grabbed his hair and kissed him hard on the lips. I even put some tongue action! I went to my seat very proud of myself. Some comment like "Fagot!" and "You're going to pay for this!" were said but I was used to them. But why did Riku look at me that way? The though made me blush a little. I was out of that room before the teacher comes.

At the end I skipped the whole day. I was sitting on some bench when my phone rang. It does that a lot lately. I hung up not even looking at who it was. My life was fucked.

"So that's where you were!" So out of all the time you could have come you chose now when I hated you the most. A pair of hands raped around my neck.

"Riku, what do you want? I'm not in the mood to please you!" Riku went around the bench and faced me. "What do you mean please me?" It seemed he didn't understand. I got up, turned around and stared walking home. I wanna make it perfectly clear that I despise him at this moment. How can he say that he isn't going to date girls anymore and then the next day kiss a girl with boobes and look at me! That's just … Just mean! "Hey Sora wait up! What's wrong?" You just shove it in your ass your "wait up"! Go to hell Riku! I bet it's going to be hot there. "Bye, Riku!" and with that I went home.

Right now I wish I was in hell. It seems my teacher had called at home and my mother knew I skipped school. Can't she just shut up about it? Who cares if I missed a couple of classes? I learn nothing. She was yelling at me at the moment I opened the door.

"Listen young mister, you can't …" It went like "Bla, bla, bla!" the same thing every day, my parents were so proud of me.

"Mom not now, please!" "You can't tell me when to do my job Sora Harts!" Ouch, that wasn't good. Well who cares? Want to hear more?

"Your attitude is indescribable lately! It's like I don't even know you Sora. And your grades are worse than ever. Do you even pay attention in class?" Yeah, my ears are starting to heart so I'm going to escape this torture. So I go up the stairs and she starts yelling at me to not ignore her and to come back down. I fucking have a headache because of her. I can't stand her any more. So I slam my door and lock it and all I can hear now is how I' am going to come out eventually and how she is going to send my father up. Listen hear lady first he doesn't care about me. He gave up on me when I had my tongue pierced. Second I can tell you what to do because I am a person just like you and have the same rights and if you can tell me what to do, then I can too! And third I can skip school when I like! My brain just can't take any more bullshit inside it!

I finally found peace, when I put my headphones on. The sweet sound of not hearing your mother yell at you. My homework's on my desk and it isn't little. Truth be told I understand all of the shit we learn but I just don't feel like being smart and all. A yawn comes out of me and my eyes start to close. Before I know it I fell asleep.

"Sora!" Someone nudged me in the shoulder. "Sora, wake up!" My brother. I slowly turn on my back. It seems my headphones had fallen during the night. "What do you want?" I tried to kick him of my bed but I was too asleep and missed. "How did you got in? The door was locked." I really want to sleep. "Axel broke the lock." Yes, Axel is Roxas's boyfriend. They were going out since two years. Roxas was always trying to take care of me. In fact he was more like a mother then my own mother who was either drunk or out with someone and when she was home she tried to make our lives a living hell. She was talented at it.

"It's two in the afternoon." What?

_Kingdom hearts does not belong to me! Please review! The second chapter is coming soon! _


	2. Chapter 2

**Kingdom hearts does not belong to me! Please review! **

_Xxx  
_

"_It's two in the afternoon."_

Fuck! I was supposed to go out with Riku and his girlfriend. Maybe I should call him, so I can apologize for not coming. Idiot! I won't, because of the little scene we had yesterday I wasn't expected to go. I was still angry, but no more mad at Riku. I guess you can't stay mad at someone you have feelings for. He should learn not to make decisions too quickly.

I looked at my phone just to reassure myself that I won't make that call and then my gaze moved to Axel.

"Axel, I expect my door to be fixed." I liked the "Do not enter!" sign on it. It wasn't the first time Axel broke down my door. Roxas made him do it all the time with the excuse that it looked hot.

Axel left the room with a "Fine" and Roxas following after him. Somehow the scene reminded me of mama duck and her ducklings. I blame it on the cartoons I've been watching lately.

Let's for once listen to mother and go breath fresh air. She says it's like candy to your brain when it's clogged up. So I grabbed my lollipop, put on my shoes and went out the door. My journey will begin with the first steps I take to the world but for now I'll limit it to the park. I'm far too lazy.

As I was walking I remembered the dream I had. For some reason my teacher had made me and some of my classmates plus Riku go to the shop to buy some onions. On our way back we were having an onion fight and I felt Riku nuzzle my cheek and whispered to me "I love you" yeah till I waked up. Good dream, good dream! Well, fuck it!

I turned to my left to where all the cafes were. All of the "cool" people came here so why not check it up? As usual there were couples kissing there souls out, some bored people and a few classmates. There was Riku and some guy I didn't know. It looked like they were kissing. Wait a minute! Oh, God! I can't believe it! Was I seeing right? God, please tell me this is a dream and not some kind of a sick joke. They really were kissing. Fuck!

Anger filled my belly. I had to get out of here. Move, move! Mother was right I shouldn't take my legs for granted but they didn't want to move. Even the oxygen didn't want to move through my body. I guess my feelings were growing and passing the crush – state. I soo didn't want to admit that.

My phone broke me out of my state as it started ringing. It was Riku. No doubt he was going to tell me how he broke up with his girlfriend and now has another. No, not this time Riku. Let's see how you deal when I give you the cold – shoulder for once. And with that I went home to distract myself with homework.

I hate homework. Why is it so hard to do? I wish I was paying more attention in class. The lessons are easier to learn. I believe it's time for a short break. I went to the kitchen to eat some ramen but all we had was air.

"Fuck"

"What did you just said?" Roxas was watching TV surprisingly without Axel.

"You ate my ramen."

"So? Go buy yourself some." Yeah, Roxas knew how to talk to people. But I wanted my noodles so a quick run to the store won't hurt anyone. Homework could wait till tomorrow. Maybe I should do some kind of magic on it so it could do it itself. And then I can go to Hogwarts, become a crazy magician and work in the Chocolate fabric with Charley as a test bunny. That sounded awesome.

"Where is my money?" I tried to ask a zombie Roxas. Apparently a fish was more important than me. What ever!

After I found my wallet, which was apparently in the refrigerator, I went to get myself some noodles. Happy, happy sunshine.

Apparently they were all out of vegetable noodles so I had to get chicken once. Riku likes chicken ramen. I give in so easily in thinking about Him. All it took me was some spaghetti and to top it all we had a project to do together for Monday. Goodbye cold- shoulder and welcome feelings.

So I had to call him, make a funny excuse and set up a time for tomorrow. Which leads us to me eating my ramen cursing myself for forgetting about Japan (sorry Japan) and thinking what am I going to do tomorrow. Nothing is the answer. Just a strictly professional date with awkward feelings and a lot of explanations.

Well that homework wont do it self. Or maybe if a cut a hole and a male attribute my homework could have little baby – answers. That way my head won't hurt because I intend to hit it too much in the wall and I could just go to bed.

Zzz, Zzz! The peaceful sound I would have been making if my dear blond brother hadn't slammed my door opened. And I was just going to fall asleep! I lifted my head up to see … Yeah, and blonde had to leave us alone.

"We have a project due tomorrow." Riku walked slowly to my chair and sat in it. He looked at me like as if I would start jumping on one foot out of joy of doing a project with him. Yeah! Not going to happen!

"So?" I went to the door, showed my brother the middle finger and slammed and locked the door shut. I turned around to see Riku chuckling at me and that did not please me.

"If you don't want mother Russia to declare war on Japan during WWI you will do well to shut up." Yeah, I was good at commanding people. Can I spank someone?

"So let's begin mother Russia!" said Riku and started taking things out of his backpack.

Xxx

It was rare when we had peaceful moments like these, where the silence was comfortable and the soft scratching sounds from the pens were relaxing. Only with Riku I can be so calm. And it had to be ruined by Riku's fucking telephone ringing. I swear to God, I was going to fucking kill that thing.

I could hear parts of his conversation. He was talking with that boy or maybe it was a new number on Riku's list. It made me angry that someone was stealing his attention from me and I don't know but there's a little ache inside my chest that keeps on growing. It was hurting so bad. I didn't know why it was so painful to imagine him with another, hugging him, kissing him. To hear Riku laugh with someone else rather than with me, but I can't show this weakness in front of him. Riku would know what's happening.

I felt a tear slide down my cheek and quickly wiped it off. Fuck! I need to concentrate on my assignment. Japan, you have my full attention.

Click and the phone call was over, so Riku came inside. It was clear that he wanted to say something to me and I knew that I didn't want to hear it.

"…" I've never been gladder in my life to have parents who like to knock on your door. My mom rescued me from something horrible I guess.

"I'll be right back." I said to Riku and followed my mother out of the room. She had just come back from her millionth trip and wanted to give something to me and Roxas before she went to rest. Well that something took thirty minuets which helped me to calm down my hormones.

Back in my room Riku was doing the report and didn't even stop when he started talking.

"Sora … I don't know how to say it without making you mad but you deserve to know." I saw his uncertain glance at me at the brief pause, before he continued talking.

"I've seen the way you look at all of my girlfriends till know. I know you can't find a nice girl for yourself but you can trust me, man. I know you are jealous of me for getting all of those girls." He finished and looked at me. I was petrified. Was I hearing right?

"What?" I barely manage to whisper but all I wanted to do is scream.

"I mean we can find you some nice girl and all and I won't feel like a loser for ditching you! It's normal to get jealous too, I don't even remember when was the last time you had a girlfriend … " I was boiling on the inside. We were best friends and he was acting like he doesn't even know me. Was I expecting too much? Or what? And yet I couldn't stop the anger from exploding. A tear roll down my face and that's when I knew that this was the moment. The moment when I should say the truth even if it cost me my friendship. Fuck!

"I'm not jealous … Riku I'm not jealous of you, I'm jealous of them. You are always ditching me for some bitch that breaks your heart. And do you know who is always there after that? Comforting you? Me, Riku! I'm always by your side but I can't say the same for you. Did you even remember me the last month? I was a stranger to you but when you needed me I became your friend? Are you using me? And no, I don't want a fucking girlfriend. I'm gay. That means I like boys. And I like somebody but you wouldn't know that would you? God, I'm jealous of your girlfriends because I like you, Riku! I like you!" I ran out of breath as I collapsed on the floor crying. I'm such a fucking girl. I wanted to hide myself somewhere.

Riku was just standing there, not saying a thing. I'm such a fool! Why did I say all those things? I should have just held back.

I tensed as I heard him coming close to me. That's it. He is going to hit me. I know it. Though the hands that embraced me were surprising.

"Before you say anything I want to say I'm sorry. You are right I haven't spend time with you. I'm a looser for treating you that way and I'm sorry for not seeing your feelings towards me. The truth is .. " The door to my room opened and Roxas came in. He grinned at us like I-you-rape grin which was scary. He throw something at me and went to leave but he had to say that. I blushed!

"You boys be good and use a condom!" Fuck him. I swear I'm going to remember this.

I felt Riku shift a little and whispered something in my ear which made me blush even more.

"I like you too!"


End file.
